What is it girl?
by dead-body-number-2
Summary: McGee goes missing at a crime scene. Can the team rescue him in time? Rated T for non-graphic nudity. Teamfic


**What is it girl?**

**By dead-body-number-2**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

"DiNozzo sketch and shoot! Ziva bag and tag! McGee search the perimeter!" Gibbs shouted.

The crime scene was an abandoned farm in rural Virginia. Ducky and Palmer took the bodies of a sailor and an unknown civilian back to NCIS to be autopsied. The case seemed to be a just a drug deal gone bad and the two men had apparently shot each other, but, as always, they had to do a complete and thorough investigation.

McGee began walking the fence line occasionally stopping to snap a photograph or examine a potential piece of evidence. He knew he would most likely find nothing, but he had to check. At least it was a pleasant day for a walk even if it was a little chilly.

McGee came upon a pile of rocks that used to be part of some small structure. He put his camera down and moved to take a closer look. Suddenly he felt the earth give way under him and he fell into darkness. His left shoulder slammed into a wall on the way down and he plunged chest deep into very cold water. His legs rammed into thick mud a few feet below the waterline. Debris rained down on top of him as he raised his uninjured right arm to protect himself. After a few moments it seemed safe to put his arm down and tried to figure out what had just happened.

McGee looked around, but could see nothing in the darkness. He reached his hand out and felt a cold stone wall covered with slime. He glanced up and could see a patch of sky above him. He did not see, until it was almost too late, one of the rotten boards that had collapsed under him, come plummeting down. He managed to partially deflect it, but part of it hit him on the head and he was knocked unconscious.

* * *

"Where's McGee?" Gibbs asked, wanting to warp up and get back to NCIS.

"He was over there somewhere." Ziva pointed north to where she had last seen him.

"DiNozzo, call him."

Tony pulled out his phone and speed dialed McGee's cell. "Got his voice mail ... Probie when you get this message get your skinny butt back here ASAP!"

"I am worried. It is not like McGee to be out of touch," said Ziva.

Gibbs nodded in agreement. "Ziver you take the right side along the fence. Tony you take the middle. I'll go left."

* * *

McGee came to having no idea where he was or how much time had passed. He only knew that he was in pain and that he was cold and wet. At least he hadn't fallen face down in the water when he lost consciousness or he might have drowned. After a few moments his head cleared and his eyes became fully adjusted to the dark. He struggled to move, but his legs were held fast by the mud and the injuries to his arms meant he couldn't push against the walls to help free himself.

"This is not good," he said. "Boss!" he yelled and his head immediately exploded with pain. He grimaced as he continued to yell, "Boss, Tony, Ziva!" He yelled until a coughing fit made him stop.

After the coughing subsided he began to assess his situation. He was in a pit partially filled with cold water, about 20 feet below the surface. His legs were stuck in thick mud. His left arm was almost useless and his right nearly so. Worst of all, no one new he was here. His heart sank for a moment.

"_OK Special Agent slash M.I.T. Grad slash boy scout what do you have going for you? My phone!_'" he thought. He struggled to pull his phone out of his pocket. It was dead having been soaked in cold dirty water for the past who knew how many minutes. "Probably wouldn't work down here anyway," he said out loud. He reprimanded himself for the negative thinking and started checking the pockets he could reach for something to help him out of this jam. He was reaching his right hand around to his left pants pocket when he brushed against something solid. His Sig! "_Great, now I can shoot my way out of here,_" he thought sarcastically "_And in this small space I'd probably blow out my ear drums. No wait, the shots, they'd hear them. Oh baby please work_." With a great deal of pain McGee pull the gun out of the holster, drained as much water from the gun as he could, chambered a round, and prayed that the gun would still fire. He held the gun in his right hand and pointed straight up. He pressed his ear against his shoulder to help muffle the sound and fired three shots. His unprotected ear hurt like hell, like when he'd forgotten his ear plugs that time Abby had dragged him to a Slut Puppies concert.

"_That should get their attention._" He waited 30 seconds and fired another round so they could home in on his location. He planned to fire a round every minute until he ran out of billets, but just as he has about to fire another shot he heard a voice call his name. He was so happy he almost forgot about how cold he was. "I'm down here!" he yelled. "Boss, Tony, Ziva are you there?" He began to thinking he was hearing things and he almost gave up hope when a head appeared at the entrance to his prison.

"I found him he's down here!"

"Ziva?"

"Yes, McGee it's me. Are you injured?"

"Little bit."

Ziva was soon joined by Tony.

"Hey McGopher. You see Bill Murray down there anywhere?"

Tony felt a slap on the back of his head and said, "Sorry Boss."

"Get a rescue team out here. Now!"

"On it Boss! Do go anywhere Probie!" Tony move out of the way quickly to avoid another Gibbs slap.

The silhouette of Gibbs' head replaced Tony's against the sky.

"McGee, sit rep."

"Boss, I'm up to my chest in freezing cold water and my legs are stuck in some mud. I can't use my left arm much. I must have hit it on the way down. Something fell on top of me and hit me in the other arm and head. I think ... I think I blacked out for a while."

"Sit tight Tim. We'll get you out." To Ziva he said, in a low voice, "Stay with him. She nodded.

Gibbs moved away from the pit and motioned DiNozzo over.

"Boss the rescue team is 45 minutes to an hour out."

"Get Ducky back here and get the truck."

"What's the rush? Plenty of daylight." DiNozzo glanced up at the sky.

"Ever heard of hypothermia Tony? That water could be 50 degrees and he's been in there an hour and he's injured and may have passed out."

Agent DiNozzo's eyes widened and he began running toward the truck as he called Dr. Mallard.

Ziva felt her chest tighten as she overheard what Gibbs said to Tony. She couldn't forget the possibility that McGee's injuries may be worse than he thought. His loss of consciousness was particularly troubling her.

DiNozzo soon returned with the truck. As he handed Gibbs a coil of rope he reported that Dr. Mallard and Palmer would be here in about half an hour.

Gibbs quickly tied a large bowline in the end of the rope and lowered it down to the trapped agent. After much struggling due to the paralyzing cold and his injuries McGee managed to get the loop around his body and under his arms. DiNozzo handed out thick gloves and the three attempted to pull McGee up.

McGee tried to stifle the pain, but was soon yelling in agony as the mud held his legs fast.

Gibbs ordered a stop and gestured for Ziva to resume her position at the mouth of the pit where she tried to comfort McGee and further assess his condition.

"Even if we get him loose from the mud I'm not sure he can hold on in his condition. I don't want to risk dropping him."

"Lower me down Boss, I'll dig him out and make sure he's secure."

Hearing this, Ziva told McGee she would be right back and came over to Gibbs and Tony.

"I should do it. I am smaller and I weigh less."

"No way. I'm his best friend, I'll do it."

"Ha. You're his best friend? The one who takes such delight it torturing him?"

"Yeah. That's what best friends do Zee-Va!"

"Tony's doing it. We'll use the truck to pull them up."

Ziva glared at Gibbs briefly, but accepted his orders. She went back to the pit to tell McGee what was happening as Gibbs created a makeshift harness for Tony. Tony ran to the back of the truck and retrieved a small shovel they used when they literally had to dig for evidence. They soon began lowering him down into the pit.

"How you doing Probie?" said Tony half way down.

It took a moment for McGee to answer. "'kay I gu … guess."

He didn't sound good to Tony. He finally made it down to the bottom and gasped loudly as the cold water enveloped his body.

"Boss I'm down! Give me some slack! Jeez Tim, this water is freezing!" McGee said nothing.

Tony tried unsuccessfully to pull McGee's legs free of the mud. McGee barely grimaced. His legs were too numb from the cold to feel anything.

"No good. He's stuck tight. Give me that shovel!"

Gibbs quickly lowered the tool down. Tony untied it from the rope and tried to use the shovel to dig the mud from around McGee's legs.

"I can't get it Boss. I'm going to have to go under water for a minute."

Tony looked at the cold, dirty, debris filled soup and muttered, "You owe big time for this Probie." He took a breath and plunged into shockingly cold water. He keep his eyes tightly shut and worked by feel to free McGee's legs. Carefully he dug the mud away until one leg then the other was loose.

Tony's head burst up from the surface and he inhaled sharply. After a moment he yelled up to Gibbs. "Got it Boss. Let me get him secure and we'll be ready to come up." Tony started to check McGee's rope harness. He ran the end of the rope down and tied it to McGee's belt. "You with me Tim?" There was no response. McGee was nearly unconscious, his eyes closed. But he was still clutching the rope.

"Okay Boss! Pull us up!" said Tony as he wrapped his arms around McGee. "ZIva's driving the truck Probie so be prepared to be the first NCIS agents in space." McGee didn't respond to his joke and Tony went from being concerned to fearful for his friend's life.

Tony felt the slack being taken out of the lines as Gibbs retied the ropes to the truck's front bumper. Positioning himself by the mouth of the pit Gibbs signaled Ziva to start the truck and slowly back up. The ropes tightened and with a plop McGee was free of the mud and both agents began to slowly rise towards the freedom and safety that beckoned above.

Once they neared the top, Gibbs signaled Ziva to stop. She set the truck's brakes and jumped out to help pull McGee, then Tony up onto the grass surrounding the pit where they quickly untied the ropes.

"Let's get him in the truck. Ziva start the engine and get that heater going."

They half drug, half carried McGee to the back of the truck.

"Get his clothes off," said Gibbs as they sat McGee on the back bumper. He was lethargic and not responsive to commands. Ziva appeared and began to help remove McGee's wet clothing. "DiNozzo get your clothes off too and get in the front where it's warm. I don't need two agents down."

"Boss, I'm okay," Tony began, but Gibbs shot him a look that made it clear that it was pointless to argue. He began to pull his wet clothes off and walk to the cab of the truck.

McGee was soon stripped down to his underwear. Ziva was shocked to find him wearing surprisingly stylish black bikini briefs. Gibbs was standing in front of McGee holding him under his arms as he was unable to support himself. He looked at Ziva and said, "Those too." She hesitated a moment then slid down McGee's last piece of clothing and received another shock. On his butt cheek he had a heart with the word "Mom" tattooed. She looked at Gibbs and saw a slight smirk. Ziva realized she didn't know McGee as well as she thought.

Ziva and Gibbs toweled off McGee's body and moved him into the back of the truck where the heater was blasting out hot air. Gibbs worried that it won't be enough. They only had two blankets to cover McGee and not much else to deal with hypothermia.

Suddenly Gibbs had an idea. He opened his jacket, ripped open his shirt, and pulled up his T-shirt. Ziva stared wide eyed wondering what Gibbs was doing.

"Skin to skin contact Ziva. It's the best way to transfer heat."

He had Ziva lay a blanket on the floor of the truck and gently laid McGee down on it. Gibbs and Ziva got inside and closed the doors. Gibbs laid down next to McGee and placed his chest against him.

"Come on," he said to Ziva.

She finally understood, opened her jacket and unbuttoned her shirt to reveal a black lace bra. She was grateful she had decided to wear one that day as she often went braless. As if on cue, Tony chose that moment to look through the opening from the cab to the back of the truck.

"Hey," he smiled. "You need me back there?"

Ziva shot him a killer look, and then laid down and pressed her body against McGee's back. For a third time she was shocked when he felt how cold his skin was. She quickly threw the remaining blanket over them and hugged McGee tightly, fearing the worst.

"Drive DiNozzo!"

"On it Boss!"

Five minutes later Tony saw, with relief, the ME's truck headed towards them. He pulled over to the side of the road and Palmer pulled in just behind them.

"Ducky's here!" Tony yelled into the back of the truck.

Palmer jumped out of the truck and headed to the back to grab blankets and chemical heat packs while Dr. Mallard emerged from the other side carrying his medical bag. He quickly moved to the back of the MCRT truck and opened the rear doors.

"Excellent Jethro! I see you remembered your survival training." Dr. Mallard set about examining McGee. Palmer soon appeared with the much needed supplies and helped Dr. Mallard place the activated heat packs under McGee armpits where the veins and arteries passed closest to the skin. They placed another pack between McGee's legs close to the femoral arteries.

"H … how's he do … ing?" ask Tony as he shivered in the front seat.

"Mr. Palmer please attend to agent DiNozzo. He sounds a bit chilled."

"Right away Doctor."

Palmer took a blanket, moved around to the passenger side of the truck and climbed in.

"Uh Tony. You're naked!"

"Me … med school is ruh … eally paying off th ... ere Palmer." Tony joked.

"Here Tony. Palmer placed a blanket around the freezing agent and started to take his vital signs. He felt Tony's neck to measure his heart rate. "Pulse looks good." He put his hand on Tony's chest and was surprised how cold he was.

"Whoa there Jimmy! At least buy me dinner first."

"Just checking your respiration rate Tony. Relax and try to breathe normally."

Tony did as he was told, but soon leaned into Palmer to whisper a question.

"Is this really serious? Is he gonna be okay?"

"Yeah Tony it's serious. He could go into shock. His heart could stop."

Tony's eyes went wide. He felt guilty for making light of the situation earlier.

Palmer called back to Dr. Mallard that agent DiNozzo was cold, but not showing any signs of severe hypothermia.

"All right Mr. Palmer. Follow us to the hospital. We've done everything we can here. Oh and call ahead and inform them of what we've got so they can prepare."

"On it Doctor." Palmer took off his jacket and handed it to Tony to put on. Tony thanked him and made a mental note to stop giving the kid such a hard time from now on.

* * *

When they got to the hospital McGee's condition had improved and the team was grateful that the worst had been avoided. They did not need to lose another teammate and friend.

The ER staff quickly treated McGee and Tony for the lingering effects of their submersion in the frigid water. Fortunately McGee had scrapes and bruises, but no broken bones and only a minor concussion. They were soon laughing and joking.

McGee was snuggled under a warming blanket as a doctor evaluated his mental state.

"Can you tell me you name?"

"Tim, uh, Timothy McGee."

"Can you remember what happened?"

"Yeah, I was conducting a search at this farm and I a fell into a …"

Tony started laughing.

Ziva snapped, "What is so funny?"

"I can't believe I missed it."

"Missed what?"

"What I should have said when you found McGee."

"Which was?"

"Ziva! Run girl, get help, Timmy's fallen in the well!"

Everyone in the room, except Ziva, began to laugh, even Gibbs.

Ziva, now completely exasperated said, "What? Why are you all laughing? What is so funny?"

"Easy there lass," said Ducky in his best brogue. Another wave of laughter erupted. McGee was laughing so hard, despite the pain, that tears began to roll down his cheeks. Tony was grinning ear-to-ear at his joke and Ziva's confusion.

All Ziva could say, with a look that could kill fifty men, was "WHAT?"

**FOOF!**

* * *

**Author's Note:** Some of you, like Ziva, may not know about the meme I based this story on. There was an old TV show and some movies about a dog named Lassie who was always saving people who were in trouble especially Timmy, the son of the family that owned Lassie. Often Timmy or someone else was trapped and they would tell Lassie to get help and she (actually he, they used male dogs) would run and find somebody and would bark at them to get them to follow her back to the person who needed help. The meme is that Timmy was always getting stuck in a well, even though he never did in the TV series, and that people could actually understand or interpret Lassie's barks. Anyway google it.


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